By ZB
Note: sing all songs in a folksy, campfire-y, cowboyish way. It has a better effect that way!
(Gandalf dances around campfire, strumming a banjo and singing)
Gandalf the Grey: This is a song about looooooove...
Snape: (bursts into tears) It's... it's... it's... (blows nose in Frodo's shoulder) IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL!
GG: And all the colours of whale blubber...
Entire audience: (faints)
GG: Would you like a piece of airline pie?
Entire country: (faints)
GG: Ole!
Entire continent: (faints)
GG: Oh, I must confess, I am in love with...
Gandalf's fangirls: OMEGA!!!! ME! ME! ME!
GG: Big Ben!
GF: Whaaaat? (faint)
GG: Oh, that big clock tower is just so sexy!
Big Ben: Actually, the tower's Elizabeth Tower. I'm the bell.
GG: But that bell makes my heart bells toll!
BB: That was horrendous poetry.
GG: Why are you so meeeeeeeaaaaaan?
BB: Because I loooooove! Someone! EEEEEELLLLLLLLSSSSSEEEEEEEE!
GG: No! You cannot!
BB: Actually, I can. Please respect my choices.
GG: Yeeeehaw! I'm makin' this a cowboy soooong!
BB: C'mon, Umbridge, let's get out of here. (Big Ben and Umbridge leave the campfire)
GG: Why don't you seeeeeeeee whales hiding in treeeeeeeees?
TIME HAIR: Because they're soooooo gooooood at iiiiiit! Like yoooooou are at siiiinging!
GG: Am I reallyyyyyyyy?
TH: Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyeeeeeee, my looooooooooooooove!
GG: How wonderful!
Doctor: Come back here, hair!
TH and GG: (skip off into the sunset playing their banjoes and accordions) Lalalalalalalalalalala!
D: (calls after TIME HAIR, which is now singing Banana Chanson) Do you have to be so bald about not liking me?
