Evil Pastry Tales

A Very Odd story
by ZB

Ginny:
							Harry, I love you! You're so amazing and good at magic and
							stuff!

							Harry:
							Ginny, I'm sorry, but... there's someone else.

							GW:
							(Surprised) Who?

							(Princess Leia
							walks in)
PL:
							Mrrrrraaaaaaaaaw!!! *Which can be translated into: "Hey Ginny.
							What's up? I'm Harry's new girlfriend!"*

							GW:
							No you aren't.
PL:
							No? You're sure? Odio Harry!

							GW:
							Harry I hate you!

							(Dean
							walks in)

							DT:
							Does that mean we're back together?

							GW:
							(Punches Dean) No you nincompoop! There's someone else!

							DT:
							Who?

							(Voldemort
							walks in)

							DT:
							You're kidding

							V:
							(gets down on one knee) Ginny, will you marry me?
GW: Of course!! I was waiting for you to ask that!!
(Fred
							and George walk in)

							F:
							Bad time?

							G:
							No this is perfect timing. We finally proved ourselves right!

							F:
							What?

							G:
							Remember? We said she was dating too many guys and we were
							right!
F: But she's not dating Voldemort: she's marrying him!
F
 and G: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! NOT 
HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED! I DON'T WANT HIM AS MY BROTHER-IN-LAW! It'd be
 bad for business to have him walking in to our shop every now and again
 to say hello!

							(Draco
							walks in)

							DM:
							Master, I thought you said I was your special one!
V: You are like a son to me.  Hey Ginny, do you
							want to adopt him once we are married?
GW:
							Naah, he looks too much like a ferret. (Draco bursts into
							tears and runs out of the room screaming like a little girl)

							F
							and G: That's not something you see everyday...

							DT:
							Fred, aren't you Gilderoy Lockhart?

							F:
							No, I am actually Mr Sykes!!! (Takes off Fred costume)

							G:
							WHAT??? Who's Mr. Sykes?
MS:
							And I have been working on my new yodeling CD, Greatest Hits
							from The Mountain Top.  Do you want to hear???

							G:
							Oh no, no thanks, Im good.

							(Hermione
							walks in)

							HG:
							Whoa.

							Everyone
							but HG: Don't ask.

							(Ron
							walks in)

							RW:
							AAH! VOLDEMORT IS MARRYING MY SISTER! THE HORROR!

							HP:
							You know this makes him your brother in law?

							RW:
							He's, like, 70 or something. That's just messed up.

							(Lockhart
							walks in)
MS:
							See I told you I'm not Lockhart!

							GL:
							(to everyone, including himself) AMOR! AMOR! AMOR!

							Everyone:
							I LOVE YOU! (All hug)

							(Snape
							walks in)
SS:
							Hey, I'm the new Hogwarts Guidance counselor!!
Everyone:
							WE LOVE YOU, SNAPE!!!

							Everyone
							but SS: We all love each other!
SS: Um... I think we need another Guidance Counselor: you creeps are giving me major problems!!!

							(Cho
							walks in)

							Everyone:
							CHO! WE LOVE YOU!

							CC:
							What the-
SS: I don't know! They did the same thing to me! IT'S TERRIFYING!
CC:
Could someone please tell me what's going on?

	(Umbridge
	walks in)
Everyone
	but CC, SS, DU: WE LOVE YOU UMBRIDGE!
SS:
	And I thought we all hated her... (sighs; Luna walks in)
LL:
	Hello everyone!
Everyone
	but SS, CC, DU, LL: WE LOVE YOU LUNA!

	DU:
	SOMEBODY SAY SOMETHING OTHER THAN I LOVE YOU! I WILL HAVE ORDER!
	ORDER I SAY!

	CC:
	Clip clop clip clop!

	DU:
	AAH! CENTAURS ARE COMING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! (DU and LL run in
	circles screaming about centaurs)

	CC:
	That's it. I'm out of here.

	Everyone
	else: NO CHO! WE LOVE YOU! (CC runs out) That's disappointing.

	DT:
	She was cool.

	HP:
	Yeah. I think I've been in love with her before too.

	V:
	Nah, that was her evil twin.
MS:
	I'm George's evil twin!

	G:
	I called being the evil twin!
MS:
	NO I DID!

	G:
	SHUT YOUR FACE! (MS and G get into a gigantic Muggle-style fight)

	Everyone
	else: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

	(Moody
	walks in)

	MEM:
	SHUT YOUR PANTS!

	Everyone
	else: What?

	MEM:
	I dunno. It sounded cool when I rehearsed it.
DU:
	CENTAURS! THEY'RE COMING!

	MEM:
	WHERE?

	DU:
	I DON'T KNOW!

	MEM,
	DU: AAH! THE CENTAURS ARE COMING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! (Run in
	circles screaming about centaurs)

	DT:
	This is just too weird! I'm outta here. (Leaves)

	GW:
	Same here. (Leaves)

	V:
	NO SWEETHEART! DON'T GO! (runs after her)
PL:
	MRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWW!!! (leaves)

	HP:
	(offended) What did I say? (leaves)
SS:
	Wait Potter!!! Before you go we need to talk about your behavior at
	the school!!! YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUES WE NEED TO DISCUSS, YOUNG MAN!!!
	(Runs out after HP)
G:
	(stop fighting) I'm tired.
MS:
	No, I'm tired.

	G:
	No, I am!
MS:
	NO YOU AREN'T!

	G:
	SHUT YOUR FACE! (F and MS get into a gigantic Muggle-style fight and
	MS yodels at the top of his lungs)

	(Everyone
	left dies.)

	(Filch
	walks in)

	AF:
	Ire! (Everyone disappears) HAHAHA! NOW THE SCHOOL IS CLEAN!

	

	

	THE
	END!
 