Here is the story of the donut monster:

(plus some special editions)

The Donut Monster

One Sunday morning, when the fog was like a veil over the melting slush, a young girl stepped out of her cottage, her golden hair sparkling in the early dew. Her appearance was one suited for a journey, with mud-colored cargo pants, sturdy black leather boots, and a navy blue windbreaker. The girl's name was ZB, short for Elizabeth, and she was on her way to the village of Dunkin' Donuts for her weekly order of donuts. She headed out, digging through her pouch. She pulled out a small encyclopedia on donuts, which she had already memorized. In case of a Donut Monster attack, she had brought a protractor, which was the only weapon fatal to a Donut Monster. After a few minutes of deciding what donuts to get, she arrived at Dunkin' Donuts and almost fainted in shock at what she saw. Houses had huge bites bitten out of them, and some were on fire. Out of the mist, a massive donut roared and gulped down a handful of villagers. Other villagers attacked the monster with sprinkle swords and frosting shields and had no effect. ZB ran and hid behind some rubble, frantically searching in her pouch for her protractor. On second thought, she brought out a hairband and put back her golden locks into a ponytail. Grasping the protractor in her hand, she ran to meet the donut monster. By then, the villagers had retreated. The donut monster saw ZB approaching, and turned to face her.

“Stop it, donut monster! You're doing a double D!!” ZB screamed.

“HAHA feeble human! I am evil and because of that I will devour ALL of you!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” the donut monster grumbled. ZB was not impressed.

“How come all monsters tend to use cheesy lines and try to frighten people by mwahahaing?” ZB asked. As everyone knows, all donut monsters are not that smart, (seeing as their head is filled with frosting) and while this particular monster was trying to figure out what ZB had just said, ZB took the chance to leap on a sprinkle and catapult onto the monster's back. Upon doing so, she accidentally kicked the donut in the nose, catching it's attention. ZB had a pretty good view up on the monster's back, and she was able to see the whole but ruined village. She was also able to see the villagers, huddled behind the donut factory, tending to wounded or crying over lost ones. The sight of all these tears being shed sent a shock of anger through ZB like lightening. With out even stopping to think, ZB raised the protractor.... and started to smack the oversized donut with the flat side of her protractor. This action only annoyed the monster. In her smacking-frenzy, the protractor got shaken loose and flew into the monster's mouth, leaving ZB weaponless.

“Whoops, I guess that wasn't supposed to happen,” muttered ZB, while trying to think of what to so next. The donut monster gave a tremendous gulp, and started vibrating. Too late, ZB realized what was going to happen.

“TAKE COVER!!!!!!!” she screamed, as she was flung into the air but the exploding donut. ZB soared halfway across the village before landing ker-splash in a little pond. She climbed out, sopping wet, her boots filled with muck and frog spawn, still shaking from her experience. A cheer rose up over the hill, and villagers from every side rushed to her, all wanting to congratulate her. She was wrapped in a warm towel and was taken to the campfire, where ZB's victory was chanted to the steady beat of the sprinkle drum. Donut monster, donut monster, donut monster slay-ER!!!!! Donut monster, donut monster, donut monster slay-ER!!!!! ZB was rewarded with a promise of free donuts and large solid-sprinkle medal for her courage. She had never felt more proud and happy and scared at one time in all her life.

Donut Monster Epilogue

ZB sat in her little cottage, munching on a donut. She admired the stillness of the morning and the warm sunlight splashed across her face. ZB took a big bite out of a strawberry frosted and studied it as she chewed. The bite made the donut look as if it had a mouth, and a sprinkle was tilted to the point it looked like an eye.

“That looks familiar,” ZB murmured and polished off the rest of the donut.

The Donut Monster Applies For A Job

Bill: The interviewer

DM: the Donut Monster

Bill: So, Mr. Donut, why are you applying for this job?

DM:Well, my last career as a monster didn't work out after that last incident.

Bill: I see. And this “incident” you are talking about is the one with a little girl?

DM: Yes, that's the one. I have a few sprinkles missing from it, wanna see?!!

Bill: NO!!! No, no, that's quite alright. How did you escape?

DM: From the girl???

Bill: Yes.

DM: Well, after eating her protractor, which tasted like Doritos, I gave a huge burp and flung her off me, at the same time throwing some sprinkles and frosting in the air to make confusion and sneaking away.

Bill: A very smart decision. Are you aware that millions of others want this job?

DM: Yes.

Bill: In your opinion, how do you stand out in that crowd?

DM: For starters, I'm a donut. A huge one. And I'm strawberry frosted. Is that enough?

Bill: No, I meant, what character traits do you have that will help you get this job?

DM: I'm smart. And I'm.... Uhh, can I get back to you on that?

Bill: Sure. So overall your resume looks pretty good except for the destroying villages. But I'll hire you anyway.

DM: Thank you.