Legendary Love: The Story of Two Hippies, the Dawn of Time, and Rubber Ducks

(A summary of the book Peace, Love, and Baby Ducks by Lauren Myracle based only on the cover.  *Note: This is not a genuine summary, and probably has nothing to do with the actual content of the book, as we have not really read the book...)

By ZB

Hippia and Hippo had been in love since the dawn of time. Everyone knew how deep their love was for each other. It would never fade.

Neither would Hippo's strange attraction to rubber ducks. Hippia didn't fancy the little ducks, as they weren't natural, but Hippo adored them almost as much as he adored Hippia. He had been collecting them since the dawn of time.

One day, though, war broke out between the Rubber Duck Lovers and the Rubber Duck Not-Haters-Because-We're-Hippies-Silly. Hippia led the RDNHBWHSes into battle, brandishing her magical sword of magical magic. Hippo led the RDLs out, attacking Hippia's hippie-soldiers with waves of rubber ducks.

People were dying right and left. Hippia and Hippo were horrified, but stayed firm. They were each convinced they would beat the other.

Suddenly, proverbial lightning shattered the florid sky into a million tiny shards of poetic raindrops. Hippia and Hippo whirled around to find that they were face to face. With deadly determination, the two hippies drew their weapons- a sword in Hippia's hand, a duck in Hippo's. Everyone on the battlefield paused to watch in awe as a shower of sparks flew from the locked weapons.

Hippo lunged at Hippia, ready to destroy her with his rubber duck.

But, at the last moment, just as the duck reached Hippia's chest, Hippo paused.

'This isn't peaceful, man,' he realised, adjusting his round sunglasses.

'Right on, man,' Hippia replied, flashing him a peace sign.

Hippo helped Hippia off the ground. They cast their weapons away and drew each other into a passionate kiss that brought everyone on the battlefield back to life. The clouds parted. The Sun created a spotlight for the joyous couple. Flowers bloomed. Birds flew overhead, singing 'All You Need Is Love.' John Lennon appeared at one point, but then soared away to join the other Beatles in a random peaceful pizza parlour that also happened to spring up.

The entire world rejoiced that day.

Hippia and Hippo's love was legendary.