Luke's Nightmare:

Once there was a Jedi knight. His name was Luke Skywalker. He had no friends because he killed his dad. He had a teacher named Ms. Fee, spelled with one F and two Es. He also had a girlfriend named Leia, who was secretly his sister. His sister Leia, who was also his girlfriend, hated Ms. Fee and he did too. So, they plotted to get ice cream at that place where they play music all the time. Luke Skywalker got strawberry ice cream and his sister/girlfriend Leia got mint chocolate chip. But Leia was secretly a tantrum queen and so she hated her ice cream and threw it at the waitress and then punched the waitress in the face. Then Ms. Fee walked in and saw Leia in her tantrum. She thought that Leia had broken up with Luke, so she decided to confess her secret. Her secret was that she had a crush on Chewbacca. She was afraid that Chewy did not like her back, and wanted advice on how to get over her fear and try to pistachio ice cream. Ms. Fee had a deathly fear of anything that had nuts, mushrooms, light bulbs, rice milk, ceiling fans, and anything that has to do with Ancient Greece. Suddenly, Darth Vader shows up. He pulls out a sombrero and maracas and shouts “Ole!” He begins doing the Mexican Hat Dance with Obi Won Kenobi, who has purple eyebrows and a large, rainbow mustache. After about seven months of this dance, Mr. Sykes came in and started to do what he does best: yodel. He yodeled like a madman and everyone died. Suddenly, Chewbacca runs in. He performs CPR on Ms. Fee. And then performs CPR on Luke and Leia. Leia has a tantrum and throws light bulb ice cream at Ms. Fee. Chewy tries to wake Ms. Fee up again by slapping her. And then, Chewbacca proposes to Ms. Fee. Ms. Fee faints again. Then he dumps her on the sidewalk. Then, Chewy runs away with Leia and leaves Luke with Ms. Fee, who is still fainted on the sidewalk, and then he turns around and says “Mrawwwwww!” Which can be translated into “Ha ha you sucker!” When he brings Leia to Friendly’s for a date, she screams at him “Mraaaaaw!”, which can be translated into “Why did you bring me here, you imbecile?” After that, she takes his car and leaves the galaxy forever. Back at the ice cream shop with Ms. Fee and Luke… Ms. Fee wakes up and thinks she has turned into Darth Vader. She then gets up and says “Luke, I am your father” and tries to chop off his good hand with a plastic spoon. She succeeds in bruising Luke all over, chucks him to the ground, and does the Mexican Hat Dance all over his bruised body. Luke then wakes up from his dream, only to realize that remote controls do indeed smell like penguin guts.