The Tale of the Schwoops
The Schwoops is a Demon, but not your typical demon. The Schwoops was a math demon and she went from school to school posing as a sub, trying to sabotage the students math skills. One day the Schwoops, (her friends call her Schwoopie) walked up to a school, where she had a new batch of students to ruin, and felt especially evil. Her hair was a nice crisp white, and her shirt was freshly ironed. Schwoopie had the look of an innocent substitute teacher. So through out the day, she worked on the students, trying to make them as un-mathical as possible. She taught the kids that 6 divided by 2 is 5, and that you can get a standard deviation by multiplying donuts by wood chips. She cackled evilly to her self each time she saw a students eyes go glassy and their face go blank. On her lunch break, Schwoopie was eating her muffin when another teacher walked in. The Schwoops had never seen this teacher around the school before, and something about the way the person was dressed gave her the feeling that they were especially powerful. He was wearing a can can dress, liederhosen, and had a flaming rainbow tattoo on his arm. He looked like he had the uncanny ability to yodel. Schwoopie looked over the person very carefully, and took in every detail in case she needed to battle him in the future. The teacher was a man, but his hair was abnormally long for his gender and it almost looked like hippie hair. "Who are you?" asked the Schwoops, trying to keep her voice steady. "You can call me Mr S," said Mr S. "And i bear a prophecy that will effect your actions in the future." "What is it?" gasped Schwoopie. "Stop all your evil, or you will be defeated by one with more power and more knowledge." said Mr S eerily, and them he skipped out the door. Ha, thought the Schwoops, I am the smartest and most powerful in this land!! No one can defeat me. But she was wrong. In her next class, Schwoopie went through her usual routine of frying the children's brains, and she waited triumphantly as she watched each and every one of the kids eyes slide out of focus. All but one. That person had their hand high in the air and was full alert. Schwoopie just assumed that he had to go to the bathroom. "Yes?" she called. The kid, whose name happens to be Seana, said "I think you are wrong." The class gasped and everyone came out of their daze. "What do you mean?" Schwoopie said sweetly, though inside she was boiling. No one had dared ever contradict her before. She was just too powerful. "I mean that all your math is wrong, and that you have been teaching us mush!!" declared Seana. "And furthermore, i think you are the evil math demon, the Schwoops!!!" The class all drew in breath as one. "But you don't know how to defeat me," cackled Schwoopie. "Yes I do!!!" yelled Seana, "Because i am really the apprentice to Mr. S, and he has told me all about you!!! Now your evil doing is going to end!!!" "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" yelled the Schwoops, trying to escape, but her feet wouldn't move. They were stuck to the ground by some gum that someone had dropped. "Got to go talk to Mr Riv about that," She thought. Seana took a deep breath to utter the magical words that spontaneously combusted all demons, and Schwoopie cowered, stuck to the floor. "MANGOPADANGO COCON-" Seana tried to yell, but he was cut short when a giant pineapple fell from the ceiling and crushed the Schwoops, disintegrating her. And that is the tale of the Schwoops (or Schwoopie).
